As you can tell from my home page, my
name is Rose Mawhorter. This is my story.
Childhood
My childhood was fairly normal. I was raised as the oldest child in a non-Christian family. It was non-Christian in that we didn't attend church and we weren't taught the core Christian beliefs and values but there has always been the quiet influence from my mother's beliefs.
Through out my childhood I was set apart in school. I'm not sure if it was because I was bossy, a non-conformist, a high achiever, stubborn, or just socially inept, or maybe some combination of those things. Whatever the reason was, I was austrisized. I know that I perpetuated the bullying by tantruming but I didn't know how to get out of the cycle. I handled it for the most part until it started to really get to me in junior high. By that point I had stopped responding to taunts but I didn't have the social skills to make friends and my reputation was beyond repair. I was lonely and I didn't know how to deal with myself.
Coming to Faith
In the middle of grade ten my family moved from Courtenay BC to Victoria BC. This gave me a clean start. I still was unable to establish friendships at school but I did make one friend through volunteer work that I was doing to entertain myself. She invited me out to her youth group at a local church. At first I was a little resistant because I didn't know what to expect. When I did eventually go I really enjoyed it. I saw that the people there were different from the people that I went to school with. The leaders especially genuinely cared about me.
After a few weeks of attending I knew that I wanted to identify with this group. I wanted to a part of their community. I also wanted to have the intimacy with God that they had. I found all this one night when I revealed my ignorance of what I actually needed to do to become a Christian. My friend explained that I had to except Jesus into my heart. We went and found the youth pastor and the three of us prayed together. I basically told God that I wanted to do whatever He wanted. I don't remember exactly what I said but it was something along those lines. I was so eager for a change that I didn't really think of the repracutions of my prayer.
Growing in Faith
I was ignorant at that point of alot of God's expectations of me but my additude helped me. I really wanted to please God. I was greatful for my new found relationship with Him and I wanted to show Him. I was afraid that I would do something that would turn Him away. I didn't know just how deep God's love runs. Yes, He wanted me to work on a lot of things but I needed to learn that He wouldn't reject me if I failed and that He was there with me helping me change to become more loving ever step of the way.
After I graduated I went to Capernwray Harbour, a bible school, to learn more about God. This was about a year after I had become a Christian. I had been growing, as God moulded me, up to that point but the eight months at Capernwray really helped me grow in faith in a more intense way. My roommates were a perfect match for dealing with the sharper edges of my personality. The staff were really caring, patient and generous towards me. I learned many lessons that year. For example, I was short on money that year but the funds would inevitably show up in my mail slot, usually anonomously. This helped me learn to trust God to provide for my needs. Most importantly I did grapple with the issue of God's love. I started to really see that God loved me and really wanted to use my life to accomplish great things.
After my time at Capernwray I moved back into my home with my family. This was a difficult adjustment because it tested the things that I had learned at school. How would my patience hold out when things got more stressful? Could I find a job? Would I need to be excepted by friends? I still had a number of issues that needed to work out. My old habits and ways of thinking were still coming through (they still do but hopefully not as much!). I did make some friends which helped me see that I was worthwhile person. It was during this year that I met my husband, Joel.
I found a job and moved out with a roommate about a year after my return from bible school. It was about this time that my husband and I started to date. We became engaged a few month later and then got married the following spring. After we got married we moved to Vancouver. I was a little lonely because I spent all of my day time by myself for that summer and fall. I learned that I couldn't rely on Joel to meet all of my needs. We were partners but I needed to depend on God to meet my emotional needs. I also grappled more with my insecurity. I grew in understanding that Joel would never leave me and would always care about our relationship. This wasn't a constant worry but it was more whenever we would have a small argument I would feel like I would scare him away. I grew in this area by relizeing my value and the good qualities that I had gained through my relationship with God.
The following January I went to school for a semester. When the fall semester rolled around I had enrolled in a Unversity to take education but God had different ideas. Within the first week of classes I found out that I was pregnant! This was a real shock. I was both happy and sad. I wanted to trust that God knew what he was doing but I was disappointed because it was not what I had planned. This helped me grow in trusting God.
I tried to continue with classes but my morning sickness just made that too difficult. Truely though the morning sickness was God's providence. At this point my younger sister was also pregnant and due at the end of May. She was planning to give her baby up for adoption. All through her pregnancy I had been praying that her baby would be placed in a good home. At the begining of November I had a dream that Joel and I had adopted her. I woke in tears. I hadn't even thought of the idea of adopting the baby myself. Over the next few days my husband and I talked and prayed about the idea. We didn't have long to decide as my sister could have had the baby at any point. It was a very emotional time for me. We did decide to adopt the baby and my sister was very happy with the idea.
The baby was born November 30, 2002. We flew out to Winnipeg to pick our new daughter up. We decided to name her Faith because we had chosen to adopted her through faith that God would take care of us no matter how hard the road that followed would be. Since Faith's birth I have been learning how to be a good mom. I've never had to be so self-sacrificing. God has used this to help me be more able to live my life for others.
The time while I was pregnant with a newborn was difficult as I didn't feel well and there was so much change but God carried me through. My son, Paul Steven was born May 14, 2003. The time following Paul's was a challenge because I was recovering from a c-section. Joel and his mother were a great support to me. Having children has taught me more self-discipline. I've had to get organized and work harder because I've realized that laziness effects more then just me. By this I mean both self-discipline in completeing menial chores as well as self-discipline in my relationship with God.
Another area in which I have been growing is my understanding of self-sacrificial living. Over the last two years Joel and I have really been working through what it means to love our neighbour as we love ourselves. We've come to realize that we and the majority of the western church have been sinful to live in largly a self-indulgent way when millions of people worldwide live in absolute poverty. You can read an essay that Joel wrote on this subject on his website. This realization has caused me to have to evalute every aspect of my lifestyle. I've been looking for all waste in my life whether it has been in time, money, environmental resources or any other resource that God has given us in order to put it more in line with God's call on my life. This has been a huge challenge as there is so much waste. We are working with some other christians to start a church focused on radical discipleship. We're hoping to find other likeminded people interested in joining us. To view our churches website, click here.
Concluding Comments
I hope that this gives you a bit better understanding of who I am. Through out my mini biography I have tried to explain the ways in which I was shaped into who I am today. In the things that I mention that I have grown in I hope that it is clear that I don't think that I have arrived in any of those areas. I'm still weak and insecure in areas but hopefully just a little less then I was before. My old habits and patterns of thought sometimes show up but God is slowly replacing them with more constructive ones. Also, I'm not trying to induce pitty; the reality is simply that I am naturally selfish, weak, insecure, and unable to understand God. This is why I need God's help. He has helped me change in so many ways. I hope that this web page shows Him that I am grateful.
Childhood
My childhood was fairly normal. I was raised as the oldest child in a non-Christian family. It was non-Christian in that we didn't attend church and we weren't taught the core Christian beliefs and values but there has always been the quiet influence from my mother's beliefs.
Through out my childhood I was set apart in school. I'm not sure if it was because I was bossy, a non-conformist, a high achiever, stubborn, or just socially inept, or maybe some combination of those things. Whatever the reason was, I was austrisized. I know that I perpetuated the bullying by tantruming but I didn't know how to get out of the cycle. I handled it for the most part until it started to really get to me in junior high. By that point I had stopped responding to taunts but I didn't have the social skills to make friends and my reputation was beyond repair. I was lonely and I didn't know how to deal with myself.
Coming to Faith
In the middle of grade ten my family moved from Courtenay BC to Victoria BC. This gave me a clean start. I still was unable to establish friendships at school but I did make one friend through volunteer work that I was doing to entertain myself. She invited me out to her youth group at a local church. At first I was a little resistant because I didn't know what to expect. When I did eventually go I really enjoyed it. I saw that the people there were different from the people that I went to school with. The leaders especially genuinely cared about me.
After a few weeks of attending I knew that I wanted to identify with this group. I wanted to a part of their community. I also wanted to have the intimacy with God that they had. I found all this one night when I revealed my ignorance of what I actually needed to do to become a Christian. My friend explained that I had to except Jesus into my heart. We went and found the youth pastor and the three of us prayed together. I basically told God that I wanted to do whatever He wanted. I don't remember exactly what I said but it was something along those lines. I was so eager for a change that I didn't really think of the repracutions of my prayer.
Growing in Faith
I was ignorant at that point of alot of God's expectations of me but my additude helped me. I really wanted to please God. I was greatful for my new found relationship with Him and I wanted to show Him. I was afraid that I would do something that would turn Him away. I didn't know just how deep God's love runs. Yes, He wanted me to work on a lot of things but I needed to learn that He wouldn't reject me if I failed and that He was there with me helping me change to become more loving ever step of the way.
After I graduated I went to Capernwray Harbour, a bible school, to learn more about God. This was about a year after I had become a Christian. I had been growing, as God moulded me, up to that point but the eight months at Capernwray really helped me grow in faith in a more intense way. My roommates were a perfect match for dealing with the sharper edges of my personality. The staff were really caring, patient and generous towards me. I learned many lessons that year. For example, I was short on money that year but the funds would inevitably show up in my mail slot, usually anonomously. This helped me learn to trust God to provide for my needs. Most importantly I did grapple with the issue of God's love. I started to really see that God loved me and really wanted to use my life to accomplish great things.
After my time at Capernwray I moved back into my home with my family. This was a difficult adjustment because it tested the things that I had learned at school. How would my patience hold out when things got more stressful? Could I find a job? Would I need to be excepted by friends? I still had a number of issues that needed to work out. My old habits and ways of thinking were still coming through (they still do but hopefully not as much!). I did make some friends which helped me see that I was worthwhile person. It was during this year that I met my husband, Joel.
I found a job and moved out with a roommate about a year after my return from bible school. It was about this time that my husband and I started to date. We became engaged a few month later and then got married the following spring. After we got married we moved to Vancouver. I was a little lonely because I spent all of my day time by myself for that summer and fall. I learned that I couldn't rely on Joel to meet all of my needs. We were partners but I needed to depend on God to meet my emotional needs. I also grappled more with my insecurity. I grew in understanding that Joel would never leave me and would always care about our relationship. This wasn't a constant worry but it was more whenever we would have a small argument I would feel like I would scare him away. I grew in this area by relizeing my value and the good qualities that I had gained through my relationship with God.
The following January I went to school for a semester. When the fall semester rolled around I had enrolled in a Unversity to take education but God had different ideas. Within the first week of classes I found out that I was pregnant! This was a real shock. I was both happy and sad. I wanted to trust that God knew what he was doing but I was disappointed because it was not what I had planned. This helped me grow in trusting God.
I tried to continue with classes but my morning sickness just made that too difficult. Truely though the morning sickness was God's providence. At this point my younger sister was also pregnant and due at the end of May. She was planning to give her baby up for adoption. All through her pregnancy I had been praying that her baby would be placed in a good home. At the begining of November I had a dream that Joel and I had adopted her. I woke in tears. I hadn't even thought of the idea of adopting the baby myself. Over the next few days my husband and I talked and prayed about the idea. We didn't have long to decide as my sister could have had the baby at any point. It was a very emotional time for me. We did decide to adopt the baby and my sister was very happy with the idea.
The baby was born November 30, 2002. We flew out to Winnipeg to pick our new daughter up. We decided to name her Faith because we had chosen to adopted her through faith that God would take care of us no matter how hard the road that followed would be. Since Faith's birth I have been learning how to be a good mom. I've never had to be so self-sacrificing. God has used this to help me be more able to live my life for others.
The time while I was pregnant with a newborn was difficult as I didn't feel well and there was so much change but God carried me through. My son, Paul Steven was born May 14, 2003. The time following Paul's was a challenge because I was recovering from a c-section. Joel and his mother were a great support to me. Having children has taught me more self-discipline. I've had to get organized and work harder because I've realized that laziness effects more then just me. By this I mean both self-discipline in completeing menial chores as well as self-discipline in my relationship with God.
Another area in which I have been growing is my understanding of self-sacrificial living. Over the last two years Joel and I have really been working through what it means to love our neighbour as we love ourselves. We've come to realize that we and the majority of the western church have been sinful to live in largly a self-indulgent way when millions of people worldwide live in absolute poverty. You can read an essay that Joel wrote on this subject on his website. This realization has caused me to have to evalute every aspect of my lifestyle. I've been looking for all waste in my life whether it has been in time, money, environmental resources or any other resource that God has given us in order to put it more in line with God's call on my life. This has been a huge challenge as there is so much waste. We are working with some other christians to start a church focused on radical discipleship. We're hoping to find other likeminded people interested in joining us. To view our churches website, click here.
Concluding Comments
I hope that this gives you a bit better understanding of who I am. Through out my mini biography I have tried to explain the ways in which I was shaped into who I am today. In the things that I mention that I have grown in I hope that it is clear that I don't think that I have arrived in any of those areas. I'm still weak and insecure in areas but hopefully just a little less then I was before. My old habits and patterns of thought sometimes show up but God is slowly replacing them with more constructive ones. Also, I'm not trying to induce pitty; the reality is simply that I am naturally selfish, weak, insecure, and unable to understand God. This is why I need God's help. He has helped me change in so many ways. I hope that this web page shows Him that I am grateful.